people say things…

…”they” being men. “it” being the fact that they force us (women) to act like crazy people.  in no way, shape, or form am i a men-hating feminist.  but i do think that we are very different.  anyway…

today, i took two girls from the mission out for some lunch.  we were sitting in a booth and i was dangerously close to the people behind us.  these people happened to be three young men who happened to be talking really loudly about something i happen to be interested in.  i’ll give you the brief version of the dialogue:

guy #1: “girls have to act like b___(insert expletive here) about letting us do whatever we want.  if they say ‘sure, go hang out with the guys,’ we would be over at johnny’s house all the time.  after a week of it, we would realize, ‘hey…i like hanging out with johnny way more.  i should just break up with my girlfriend and do this all the time.’”
guy #2: “nah…i would definitely be all like, ‘johnny is annoying…’”
guy #3: “especially when on the sixth morning of hanging out with johnny you wake up to him peeing on you…”
(collective laughter)

point is…we nag because you make us. we are just threatened by the johnny’s in all of your lives.  we can’t live up to his gaming skills, his beer collection, or his desire to watch charmed on mute “because of the fantastic special effects.”  so next time, when your woman nags you…blame johnny.

(i got locked out of  my wordpress for a while.  i don’t know why.  so i haven’t been posting – but i’m baaaaaack.)

i moved back into the city. finally. i’m living next to the art museum, i guess you could consider it the ‘fairmount’ neighborhood. so i have many things to do, see, explore. book stores, coffee shops, cafes, etc. basically all the hipster hot spots. i’m also on a quest for healthy living now that i have a new life (and responsibilities) as an adult. i feel very accomplished, what with my hourly wages as a hostess and my very own apartment. i’ve been spending my days pretending to be too cool for things, walking around the city with my earbuds in. i went to a coffee shop the other day to grab something to eat. i knew this hiptastic place would have some gluten and dairy free options for my tender stomach. so i’m standing in line, feeling awfully intimidated by the coolness of everyone else in the place. my jeans aren’t ripped, my hair has been washed far too many times, and i think i’m smiling too much.  perhaps these are reasonable excuses for feeling too shy to ask what exactly the ‘BBQ Seitan on Rice’ dish consisted of. it sounded healthy and had the necessary star indicating that it was vegan next to it.  to my relief, the cashier said that many people were buying it and enjoying it.

i nestled into my corner of the room, carefully hidden behind my mac and secluded by my headphones (this had to earn me some cool points, no?). my food came out and it smelled great, looked weird. i figured, welp, i’m adventurous, and dug right in. the texture was bizarre, almost to the point that i couldn’t hack it. i didn’t want to look up what it was that i was eating for fear of not being able to finish it. it was 7 precious dollars – no way i’m not eating it. halfway through, my google search bar proved to be too tempting. besides, my stomach was starting to hurt and i needed to know what i was eating. so in i typed: seitan. i immediately regretted hitting the ‘enter’ button. the first web site simply said: wheat, gluten.

i was eating chunks of gluten. literally chomping down on the very thing that i’m ALLERGIC TO. my skin started to itch. my stomach began to rumble. i knew there were going to be some problems within the next couple minutes.  emergency kind of problems. i promptly packed up the little technological kingdom i had created and left.

a couple hours later, i’m still recuperating on my coach. it’s been a long day, and i’m done trying to be healthy and/or cool.

**no photos of the event because i don’t want to steer people away from the establishment…or get sued.  instead, here is a pic of the new apartment!**

…from kim.  miss kim had tamir on her lap last week during the lesson.  they talked about love the whole time and at the end, she asked, “now…what did we talk about today?  i’ll give you a hint…it starts with an ‘L’.” he turns around and says with certainty, “elephant.”  gotta love him.

…like to eat.  specifically, snow crabs.  we take a couple of the girls out sometimes for some special attention.  miss tiffany (pictured with these two) asked me to come along on their first outing.  i had no idea what i was in for.  we asked them where they wanted to go and in unison, they responded, “ruby buffet.”  now, i’ve heard kids talk about ruby before.  i knew it was a favorite, but i always avoided going because the only buffets i trust tend to be run by amish people, mennonite at the least.  but, we obliged them and headed to delaware ave.  on the way there, we realize that the main attraction was the snow crabs.  and were they ever.

the girls poised themselves strategically at the outer edge of the booth, sitting with empty plates in their hands, asking the staff every 30 seconds if the crabs were coming out soon.  as soon as the steaming bucket came out from the swinging doors, the sprinted to the buffet table, jumping in front of a couple older men.  i decided to not supervise the number of crab legs they grabbed.  oops.  they came back with heaping plates and i could hear voices from the buffet table saying, “there ain’t any left!”

when they realized they weren’t going to finish even half of what they took, they called a woman over and asked for a box.  i laughed and said, the only thing we can get “to go” is an ice cream cone.  if we would have let them, they would have stuffed their pockets with buttery crab meat.  gross.

…is ticklish.  and says hilarious things.  every.day.

last week, we were walking to soccer practice, hand in hand.  she looks up at me and says, “miss rachel…what be the color of yo tummy??”
me: the same color as the rest of me!
saaliah: oh, so white puerto rican?
me: is that what color the rest of me looks like?
saaliah: yeah, but i dunno if you is…say sumthin in spanish.
me: hola senorita!
saaliah: so you iiiiiiis puerto rican!

…knows an unbelievable amount of information about animals.  and the wwe.  today, we were playing memory at the mission.  a small boy (who shall remain nameless because he is about to be horribly embarrassed in this story) came over and asked if he could play too.  hippo shouted no and growled (“did i sound like a tiger that time miss rachel?!)  the kid who was denied participation rights sulked over to the other side of the room.  i asked hippo why he couldn’t play with us.  his reply? “i can’t stand that kid. he always fartin on me!” i actually agreed with his decision to not let him play…farting in general is funny.  being farted ON…not so much.

…is from philadelphia and hangs out at the mission sometimes.

tamir has a lot of energy.  he never runs in a straight line, or sits still, or speaks in coherent sentences.  i would love to know his thoughts because i think it would help me understand him more.  whatever is going on inside that head, i’m a fan of it.  the first time i ever met him, he ran up to me and hugged me screaming, “i missed you!”

yesterday, his moods were all over the place.  i got to hang out with him while we were on the upswing from a temper tantrum, so i can’t complain.  adam left me with him for a couple minutes while he walked some kids home.  he picked some old dandelions and blew the whiskers into the wind.  i asked him if he knew what they were, hoping he would point to the fresh yellow dandelions at his feet.  instead, he said, “they are wishes!”

i told him to make a wish and i would take a picture so he could remember it.  after i snapped a couple, i showed him the image on my camera and said, “who is that?” and he goes, “jay-z…duh.”  again, i’m a fan.

i’ve had a couple different blogs.  mostly for classes, actually four for classes.  and one for africa.  i like having a place to put photos that isn’t facebook or myspace.  i like reading blogs, but have always shied away from creating a personal one because of the obvious self-involvement it portrays.

someone recently said to me, “we’re all narcissists to an extent, aren’t we?”  i agree.  after all, you’re probably just reading this to make sure you’re still cooler than me.  don’t worry, you probably are, :).

i feel like funny and important things happen in life a lot and those moments, specifically those conversations, aren’t always heard about.  another person recently introduced me to the phrase, “pet cleave” which is apparently the opposite of pet peeve.  i don’t like the terminology, so we’re gonna call it the “simple pleasures” in life.  i saw one of my closest friends from africa this week and just being with her was one of those simple pleasures.  we talked about how important it is to acknowledge that.  i’m hoping this blog highlights those moments in life that are important, but often forgotten.  i also hope it helps me to be a bit more grateful – here’s to hoping!